LETTER ON COUNTERFEIT WHITE HOUSE LETTERHEAD (postmarked in Cedar Rapids, Iowa) Dear friend Judge Zagel: This is a notice of my president executive powers. I’m giving notice that the Rod Blagojevich trial will be dismissed without further proceedings. Case is permanently closed. That is my executive order, and a non-changeable order at that. Sincerely, Barack Obama
“The experience made for a sort of rite of passage: drinking and dancing (at first reluctant), followed by a restorative affair with a ranch hand, and, most importantly, the camaraderie of similarly positioned women… many of the women who came to divorce ranches were mothers who were experiencing their first taste of freedom in years, either because they had left their children behind, or because there was always someone at the ranch who would take care of the kid while mom explored what it meant to be unhitched.”—Slate offers a look inside the glamorous divorce ranches of Mad Men-era Nevada.
“If Google tested this software, it should have known all along that Street View cars would snare and collect confidential data from homes across America. Now the question is how it may have used — and secured — all this private information… We are asking Google to identify specific individuals responsible for the snooping code and how Google was unaware that this code allowed the Street View cars to collect data transmitted over WiFi networks.”—
"She loves the country so much, that she wants to make sure that even at 106 years of age, she becomes a citizen of the United States of America," said Rep. Luis Gutiérrez.
Ingacia Moya is already a legal resident of the United States, having moved here almost 40 years ago from Mexico when she was in her 70s. In 1986, she studied for the citizenship exam but didn’t understand English well enough to pass it.
The actor was locked in a courtroom confrontation with the executives of a clothing line called “GC Exclusive,” who claim Clooney was in on the project from the beginning. The defendents are accused of using Clooney’s unauthorized endorsement on their clothing line and also for selling a line of counterfeit Rolex watches with the unauthorized endorsement of Clooney, who is in fact an Omega spokesperson.
“After the patty goes on the grill, smear just the raw side with a healthy dose of mustard before flipping. The Dijon flavor cooks off but the application deepens the flavor of the meat.”—One of the The secrets of the In-N-Out burger as told to The Feast by Lure Burger chef Josh Capon.
“Tina Fey is the most caring woman I’ve worked with in this business… When I was going through a really hard time she pulled me out, and I have a debt of gratitude to her I’m not sure I can ever repay.”—
Dean Winters, who you may know as Dennis Duffy, told Niteside last night at Lucky Strike Lanes during nightlife kingpin Matt DeMatt’s birthday bash.
“I do know that the ratings board was giving us an X rating for one too many thrusts in the sex scenes, so you might see that whole thing (on the DVD). I don’t understand — what’s the difference between like eight thrusts and six thrusts? But that was literally what it came down to.”—Mark Ruffalo discussing “The Kids Are All Right“‘s near X rating.
Operator: 911 - What’s your emergency? Caller: Help! There’s a man down on the ground and an otter is trying to kill him. Operator: There’s a man on the ground and someone is doing what? Caller: An otter. Operator: A who? Caller: An O-T-T-E-R. Otter.
The caller and another man were able to use garden tools to “beat down the otter until it backed off.” The man was transferred to the hospital, but is expected to survive his injuries.
“The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers, and that can’t be good for you.”—Prince, on why the Internet is so over. (via hman)
“Jeffrey and David Shiffman have turned their bathroom into a pseudo chemistry lab. The two brothers from Ft. Lauderdale are trying to support relief efforts in the Gulf, by bottling and selling “Oil Spill Water.” “Some people are like, ‘who really wants that?’” said Jeffrey Shiffman. “Well, we don’t really know who wants it.”—South Florida Brothers Selling Oil Spill Souvenirs | NBC Miami (via glennp)