Posts tagged chicago
“Flash Mob” Does Not Mean What WSJ Thinks It Means. The Wall Street Journal is noticing a rash of gang attacks in Chicago, gangs they have oddly labeled as “flash mobs,” though there doesn’t seem to be any instance of the gangs breaking out into a rendition of “Poker Face” before hitting you in the face with a bat.
-DM
[Felix Salmon]
“ For a moment you could feel the airplane moving under you and it ultimately became clear that we had moved pretty significantly because when we were evacuated from the airplane we could see that we had been lifted.”
-DM
[NBC Chicago]
MIRACLE CHILD AMAZES DOCTORS, DANCES OUT OF HOSPITAL:
Nearly five months ago, doctors didn’t expect 14-year-old Mario Palomares to live through the night….
Thursday Palomares whispered into his mother’s ear: ”I’m Ok.”
Then he told her he wanted to dance.
The teen gingerly rose from his wheel chair and grabbed his mother for a slow dance. Then he turned to a room full of nurses and began asking each of them to dance.
“Look at that smile,” one of the nurses said. “I remember when he couldn’t smile, now he’s got a big cheesy grin.”
If you need a cover story after watching that, you can tell folks you’re crying because of how the Yanks are playing right now.
The Republican National Committee released a set of mock birthday cards in honor of President Barack Obama’s 49th birthday. The cards are purportedly from the president’s friends, including everyone’s favorite impeached governor Rod Blagojevich.
Blago judge shares hate mail
LETTER ON COUNTERFEIT WHITE HOUSE LETTERHEAD (postmarked in Cedar Rapids, Iowa)
Dear friend Judge Zagel:
This is a notice of my president executive powers. I’m giving notice that the Rod Blagojevich trial will be dismissed without further proceedings. Case is permanently closed. That is my executive order, and a non-changeable order at that.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
106-Year-Old Woman Becomes U.S. Citizen
“She loves the country so much, that she wants to make sure that even at 106 years of age, she becomes a citizen of the United States of America,” said Rep. Luis Gutiérrez.
Ingacia Moya is already a legal resident of the United States, having moved here almost 40 years ago from Mexico when she was in her 70s. In 1986, she studied for the citizenship exam but didn’t understand English well enough to pass it.
“I’ve got this thing, and it’s ****ing golden”
Something to get you going on this scorching hot Tuesday morning - the Blago audio files’ greatest hits.
Live from Chicago, it’s the Cougar Convention
“‘Mature’ women from all over the country hit the Embassy Suites O’Hare Saturday night for the Cougar Convention. The event celebrated the woman who doesn’t let a little thing like age get in the way of her love life, and it turned out to be the perfect habitat for cougars and cubs to play in harmony.”
If, for whatever reason, you want to see more.
“ I was just frustrated… I hope they play the tape where I say I have a crush on you!”
