Posts tagged gwyneth paltrow
“Gwyneth Paltrow Saved a Life on Sept. 11” That’s a real headline from the website of People magazine. And how did Paltrow save this life, you might ask? Ah well, she nearly hit a jaywalker with her Mercedes, and the ensuing incident caused the jaywalker to miss her train to work in the World Trade Center that would have gotten her there before the plane’s hit. If only more celebrities cared enough to nearly run over people with their SUVs, the world would be a better place.
“ When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some… restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’ People know that I know that…It’s so much easier to sit home and not exercise and criticize other people. What I love is inspiring people. People come up to me and say, ‘I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.”
A. The Pope
B. Henry Rollins
C. Gwyneth Paltrow
D. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
The answer, of course, is D. When you needed a bikini wax in Paris, FDR was the man.
BREAKING NEWS: GWYNETH PALTROW NOW ON TWITTER. Ever wish you could have Gwyneth Paltrow tweeting vegan lasagna recipes and demanding that every home go back to using a wood-burning furnace (“It creates a hickory scent that modern furnaces simply can’t duplicate. Have your staff look into it!”)? Fear not, for our girl has joined the Twitter revolution today. Prepare thyself for immediate life improvement!
“ One year I was given a birthday present I’ll never forget — a cooking lesson from Jamie Oliver.”